“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit-you choose.” Proverbs 18:21
Did you know that I LOVE words? Words are powerful. Words can inspire connection and beauty or they can destroy them. We've all heard the old adage "the pen is mightier than the sword" written by novelist and playwright Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839. This 179 year old statement is still relevant today, perhaps more than ever.
Maybe you've seen this demonstration recently. The metaphor has been used that words are like a tube of toothpaste... once spoken, the words can't be taken back and can make a mess if we aren't careful. The words you speak to yourself and others have power.
As adults, many of us have learned this lesson. We can relate in some way to just how destructive other's words can be. I remember in middle school someone I considered a friend spoke harmful words to me. She said "Laura, you don't have to win everything all of the time." In the moment, the words attacked me and deflated my confidence. Perhaps the fact that I can still remember them 15 years later is the strongest argument I can make for the power our words hold.
So, this leads me to wonder, why do we often speak so negatively to ourselves? Why do we put ourselves down with pointed criticisms that target our insecurities? "You're such a loser." "Gosh, can't you do anything right?" "You'll never be good enough, so why bother trying?" I would imagine that we've all heard this inner critic. If you're interested in reading about your inner critic and ways to overcome the nagging voice, you can read more here.
One way that we can change this negative inner critic is to change how we speak to ourselves. What happens if we speak with compassion and love? What happens if we celebrate our victories rather than critiquing them? How will we be changed? How will our world be changed?
Lisa Firestone PhD recommends that we respond to our inner critics by writing down a more realistic and compassionate evaluation of ourselves. "Write these responses in the first person (as "I" statements). In response to a thought like, "You're such an idiot," you could write, "I may struggle at times, but I am smart and competent in many ways." This exercise isn't meant to build you up or boost your ego but to show a kinder, more honest attitude toward yourself."
I also love to use affirmations. Positive affirmation has been shown to eliminate harmful effects of chronic stress on problem-solving skills by researchers at Carnegie Mellon University. You may have noticed that in class recently, I leave space for you to explore a positive affirmation. Why would we talk about positive affirmations in yoga class? Excellent question! Take for example a balance pose you've been working on for ages and still can't manage to feel successful and confident in. Instead of saying "I'm terrible, I'll never get this!" how does our physical practice change if we say "I may be shaky now, but I am strong and will be able to do this eventually."
The challenging part is that sometimes, we don't know where to start... that inner critic gets the best of us. I would encourage you to complete the phrase "I am_______." Maybe it's "I am smart." "I am strong." "I am capable." For me, I find validation and worth in repeating "I am a Child of GOD."
These words, affirm or steady and strengthen us. Words have power. Choose to speak with love, compassion, and kindness.
If you're still finding affirmations difficult, try following the guided steps at https://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/say-yes-create-positive-affirmation
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/affirmations_b_3527028.html?guccounter=1
https://www.doyouyoga.com/5-uplifting-affirmations-to-inspire-your-yoga-practice/